Recent content by mjldba

Think about the situation "autocorrect" put this poor guy in .......... Andy is watching TV & his phone notifies him of an incoming text. It says "Hi Charlie, wanted to let you know I just got caught hopping on your wife, sorry". Andy puts down the phone, picks up his pistol and shoots his...

This happened to a guy I work with. He was setting up a PC for a new employee and he was explaining the standard login ID and password requirements. She created her login ID but hesitated when entering her password .... she didn't know what to use so she asked my buddy what he used. He said...

Many years ago we were using a packaged application that required the login and password to be entered in uppercase letters. One of our illustrious endusers was having difficulty logging in so I went to her desk to go over the basic login procedure. When I brought up the uppercase requirement...

If you're using a FULL recovery model then rebuilding indexes is growing your log file (ldf). I suggest doing a transaction log backup and then shrinking the log file. If you're using a SIMPLE recovery model then rebuilding indexes is growing your data file (mdf). If you do a SHRINKDATABASE...

I was a car mechanic many years ago & it drove me nuts when someone asked me to check the water in their "bat-tree". I told them the water level in their battery was fine.

If that department store happens to be Wal-Mart then you might want to submit your granddaughter's snap to peopleofwalmart.com Lots of similar content there

ding ding ding ding ding .... we have a winner!

automotive decadence = a car with 52 dents

Few years ago I saw a guy trying to be the biggest Texas cowboy badazz he could be wearing a T-shirt that proudly stated "If you ain't a cowboy then you ain't s**t". If you take the slang contraction "aint't" and expand it to what is probably "are not" then you have "If you are not a cowboy...

In reference to your DNT ("Do Not Touch") remark, I think the area under a curve is also referred to as "ribs" :)

I tend to print because I want to be sure other people in my dept. can read my notes because, aside from my signature, my handwritting is awful. Actually, I tend to join the printed letters together in a flowing manner to I guess I use a hybrid form of manuscript & cursive.

My GF's father was named Hyman .... glad that fell from popularity.

Lucky he is

It's not like this every day, just the days the end in "y" ... including Saturday & Sunday

A friend of my ex-wife is a HS teacher and she adopted the "like" method of relating a previous conversation via monologue. "I said I'm like not going to the game" and "She's like why not?" and "I'm like what cares about football" and "She's like I'm with you, the team like sucks" and "I'm like...